i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
