dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
