I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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