it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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