whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
