So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
