I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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