he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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