didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
