I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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