But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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