Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
