She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
