her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
