You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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