party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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