watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
50% drunk capacity currently
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
