no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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