I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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