I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
