apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
