I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
