i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
