is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
