Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
