just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
