Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
