I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
