The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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