Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
