Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Randomize
