why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
