I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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