Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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