Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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