my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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