Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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