your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Where is the hickey?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
