I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
