she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
worst night to have a conscience
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's official drugs can't kill me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
