I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
