I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
