I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
