Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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