Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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