Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize