it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
