my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
