i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
