How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
