Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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