Your mouth is God's brothel.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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