I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we're making bets on your personal life
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
