Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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