you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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