Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
