I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
