just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
