Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
