The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
