Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
