i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
